Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Displacement

I walk in the midst of hundreds and I feel alone and disoriented! My mind works a hundred miles per hour and I hear every body around me speaking – bees buzzing as they move along; annoyingly.

Lips moving quickly! People, rushing here and there, with one purpose - to find what they are looking for.

I can hear their footsteps, as they walk hastily to this place, then that place…

These bees are becoming blurry as they rush pass me, not noticing that their very movements have nauseated me…

My thoughts are lost in some deep abyss as I try to keep my feet grounded and these bees keep buzzing pass me, their different scents – good or bad – aggravating the walls of my stomach and all I desire to do, is to heave out the breakfast I had missed….

Seeing that my tummy was empty, I could feel the rhythm of pain, as my insides try to expel my internal organs on to the streets…..

My heart thumps into my ears and my senses become utterly confused! My very heart has lost its rhythm and I can feel it literally racing within me with fear…..

With such panic within, my heart slowly begins to disappear from itself and my breath becomes laboured and all I am able to do, is walk…..

All I need is to walk away from the human hive and be alone, so that my thoughts may marry and become real….

So that I may be able to smell without tasting the stench and feeling the odour actually rotting my soul…..

I’d like to walk in the direction, where alone is really alone! Where the heart is able to keep a steady tune within that may even lull me to an imaginary beach of silence… A place where I can smell the breeze and identify the singular beauty of a flower….

I hate crowds! I hate mingling amongst people who I do not know and do not care about…..

I enjoy the sweet silence of aloneness and the calming sounds of quiet…. I love the occasional meeting of a dear friend but I simply detest the rowdy, boisterous, unemotional human contact…..

So forgive me! Forgive the fact that noise weakens my senses and destroys my nerves. Forgive the fact that strangers, compel fear within me…..

I simply hate the concept of being lost amongst unknowns and dying without the idea of an effortless thought……

Ah well, buenas noches todos personas! Good night to all!गुड निघत तो अल!! ಗುಡ್ ನಿಘ್ತ್ ಟು ಆಲ್!!Bon Soir! Gute Nacht!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Personation

Who am I? I am always a replica of everything and nothing at once! I seem to be a mirror and all I am is a reflection of something else.

Some days, I am almost certain that I am a teacher but I think I act according to my environment.

Some days I think I am crazy and other days I am not!

I have not been properly defined as a human being. I love to write, but that does not make me a writer! I love to read, but that does not mean I am intellectually sound! I love to sing and I love the guitar, but I am neither singer nor musician.

Who am I? I can not define myself! I can not tell you who I am because I am not yet properly characterized.

I have a see through existence, magnifying other people’s lives and taking it up as mine for a season.

This existence is empty, yet filled with your glory! This existence is emotionless, but loaded with your bottomless feelings. I am expressionless, however, your ability to drip poetry from your core makes me pregnant with expression.

My reality only reflects – what a way to live life, being only a reflection of something but really, being absolutely nothing in the process of mirroring everything!

I’d like someday for that existence, or rather, the lack of it to melt into the deep ravine of obliteration and I’d like to be fully able to give a definition of me! Because at this point, if you ask me who I am, I can only answer; “I am you and you and you and you” never really being me.

Or, is it that a piece of each of you, has already defined me? Is it that, I needed each of you to become who I am?

Who am I? I am you and you and you and you and me!!! As I have encountered each of you, I have become ME!!! Pieces of you have brought me together in a beautiful and unique symphony!!

Who am I? I am Me!!


Ah well, have a fabulous day!! Arriverderci! Adieu! Adios! Sayonara! Au revoir! Ja ne! Auf wiedersehen! Farewell!