Enflamed Heart

Today, a friend of mine informed me that they had no ability to care for or love anything, in fact, the heart within had sort of dried up being deemed, null and void! Oh what a thing to say to someone who has given so much!! What a thing to say!! This statement today, brought me back sometime ago when this same person said "I love you less" and "I have no more love left to give you" All of this said, the individual still convinced me that all of those things were said in the heat of the moment and therefore should not be made note of.

From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh - This is absolute truth! I mean, it came from the Bible, what else could it be??? My friend speaks of situations where they are in a relationship that would be considered hurtful and yet, they seem not to deserve anything but what is being dealt! My friend calls it Karma but I call it B.S. It is my decision to remain with you whether or not I feel hurt and deprived!

Today, when you said your heart had been literally burnt out, I felt it before you actually said it so I believe you! I believe that you like your situation! You are not a coward as I previously statered! But there is nothing I can do for someone who does not want to be happy!

You broke my heart several times with your words and do you think today, just because we aren't together, I am not still hutrt?? Of course I am! The problem with me is that I gave you too much of me! Which is why it is so easy for you to step over me and feel I could take it!!

Today, I told you that I wouldnt mind if you'd die - not because i feel hatred within me or even dislike! I wish both you and your partner death, so that you will stop hurting! That you will stop tearing up at my harmless words! I wish you death, so that you'd be away from me, the person you continuously love less and together with, your partner (the one you'd never leave! NOT EVER!!!)

I do not know whether I am being coherent or even clear! But I need you to know, that I wish I could love you less!! I wish I could feel less for you!! I wish I really wanted you dead! I wish I could hurt you and forget you!! Because it is so easy for you to love me less!! Forget me!! I wish my humanity werent so faulty!!!

So dear friend, you continue loving me less until the fire has enflamed your heart and leaves the ashes behind! I will love you still because I do not know any better!! Enjoy your life! Enjoy the future that you will have without me!! Enjoy life while I go on loving you because really????? What else is there???????

Ah well, Good night good night!!!! Buenas noches!!! Buena noche!! Bon Nuit!! Gute Nacht!!!!!!