Metamorphosis

I must have done something wrong in my childhood to grow up into this person! I must have told a lie or stolen some important secret! I must have done something wrong! Because why else would I hand my heart over to the devil, when I knew he’d molest it, rape it and destroy it!

I remember, one day at the age of eleven, I woke up and I was different! My eyes saw a different complexion, my hearing enhanced and my thoughts were brilliantly coloured! I found beauty in the oddest places and love in the most painful…..

That’s why I did not choose to fall in love with you but that’s why I did! What would be more painful than falling in love with a person you could never have?

Why does one jump into a fire head first unless they believe it is home?

The fire is familiar to me because I transformed my heart into the devil’s armour so long ago. Why not sit upon the throne of raging coal? Why not drink of the searing lava? Why not bathe in the piercing flames? Why not smell as the fire burns through me and transforms me? Why not love you?

The pain….. Sweet pain, causing even my core to tremble! (sigh) This is home!!!..

The purpose of fire is to refine, to purify! So soon I will be refined! Right?

But at the end…

When the flame has died away and my impurities disappear, who will I become? Whose will I be? What will I be without the pain that causes even silence to whimper??


Ah well, have a marvellous evening! Buenas noches! Gute nacht! Bon soir!