Sufferance

I have to sit there and take this because I am a child of God?

Well aren’t you?? Aren’t you a child of God?

You profess to be one! Yet you asphyxiate me with your gossiping tongues and you cut through me with your judgemental eyes! (Last week, I am sure you preached that judging was left to God! I am sure, the week before that you said something about identifying the “mote” in your own eye before you try to talk about somebody else’s! I am sure you preached….)


But at this point, you are dissecting me, as you would a pathetic, worthless frog!

At this point, you are allowing Satan to cover your thoughts, and you call it Godly!!

If it were up to me, I’d burn your eyes out for your vicious seeing!

If it were up to me, I’d cut your tongues out for your malicious gossiping!

If it were up to me, I’d peel each of you like a fruit and place you in the sun and watch as it enflames you…….

If it were up to me, I’d take your ashes and use it as a symbol for your children and your children’s children…..

If it were up to me…..

But it is not!!!!!

And so,

With your words and your beliefs, you threw me into the dark hole of nothingness!

With your looks, you drowned my personality and left a rock hard, hollow shell!!

So how can I walk uprightly at this point?? How can I walk into the house without bearing shields?

I think you are hypocrites!

I think you are devious little creatures who do not even deserve to eat, even from the very faeces of the devil!

I do not want to enter your house knowing that you stabbed me! If Caesar, Augustus Caesar hadn’t died, you think he’d let Brutus into his house? You think he’d sit with Brutus and enjoy a sanctified meal??

It is not about forgiveness! It is about trust and you shattered the refuge I felt amongst you!

You have spat on me with your acidic spit!

You have strangled my heart with your thorny caresses and your jaggered hugs and silenced the very core of my existence!

I can not yet walk into the fold without drawing my sword, so I choose to stay away for a season because I choose not to wallow in the mud like pigs do! I choose not to be like you!!

But do not think, you have kicked me out! I will return, with my sword at my side, I will return to the fold of hypocrites and liars who believe they are heaven bound!

I will return to watch as you, Sadducees and Pharisees burn from within…..

But as i watch (sigh) let your very breath destroy me so that i may live no longer in sufferance!!!

Ah well. to all, a good night!! Buenas noches! Gute Nacht! Bon soir!