Vivo de ilusiones.....

I Hate
Dedicated to Myia A Samuel

I walked out on the blatant sharp image of your form
Absurdly thinking that you’d be gone

I married a land where we shared no moments
A place to escape the memories

But I sit under this tree at Brandon’s Beach-
A place we did not share

I stare-

at rain drops falling

I stare through the shads of water
And I see your face-

Laughing because we ate pizza on a beach like this

Filled with pride because I graduated from Secondary School

Smirking because you pasted my face with flour or toothpaste

Jeering because we wrestled and you won

Making faces to make me laugh

Asleep as your fingers travel through my hair

Smiling because you ate from my plate when I was not looking

I see you teaching me to write,

Helping me with school work…..

It seems,

The memories followed me here…

The hurt I could not bear-

Forsook me not….

The pain cripples

My tears…..the rain dribbles

Blood streams down my face
I grab, scratch and show no grace
I scream from the depth of my state
I hate I hate I hate!

Mys i cannot stop thinking about you...... the memories dont cease and the sadness is persistent.....At nights i dream of you laughing and alive and every morning, i regret being awake because i have the need to be with you, to hear your laugh and to hear your jokes- i hear you and see you in my dreams.....if only i could keep dreaming on for eternity.....if only.....sigh

I love you always
Merl