Contrition

Pierce through me with a sword and watch me bleed! Bury me and let me no more gasp for breath! Torture me, and let not a sound escape my lips! Poison me and let me die alone! Cover me with hate and watch me shrivel into nothingness! Chop me, slice me and feed me to the dogs and let me not whimper!!

I deserve it all! I deserve it all because my humanity some times causes me to forget! My humanity causes me to become frantic, overwhelmed and stressed!

Yes, indeed I’d like to take on the world! I’d like to heal you from sickness! I’d like to bury your pain in the sea of forgetfulness! But my humanity restricts me! My humanity makes me feel things, think things, regret things!!

I may say I am sorry and I may try with all my heart not to disappoint you again! But chances are, I will forget again! Chances are, I will feel overwhelmed again and I may not remember!

So if you fear a bigger disappointment, pierce me, whip me, kill me and bury me!! I get angry about incompetence but I put little faith in people so I am rarely ever disappointed! But I do know how it feels when I disappoint myself! And I loathe the feeling more than anyone can allow themselves to imagine.

I APOLOGIZE! But then how can you not possibly think, that if it were you, you’d not forget! Even though my excuse was that I had eight classes for the day and I had to take up assembly for the morning! Even though my excuse was that I was stressed out! The point is, I remembered mine, so why did I forget yours???

Do you really think the intent was malicious? If you do, you do not know me well enough! Some things I remember and you’re happy for the moment of remembrance but the things I forget you keep locked in memory!

So with my cramping muscles, my throbbing head, my sore feet, my watery eyes, I apologize and ask not for forgiveness but that you bury the disappointment I have caused you deep within the walls of forgotten or you tip me over into a furnace that will quickly enflame me and thus, I’d have paid for my humanity! Either way, I ask that you do not allow my act of disappointment to fester upon your soul like a decaying sore because soon the filth will begin to infest your being!

Ah well, whatever you do, be blessed and have a good night! Arriverderci!!!