I informed my friend that I was being hurt by certain acts that were being performed by them and my dear friend proceeded to inform me that, really, if I were hurt I would be crying by now, so clearly the hurt is null and void. I paraphrased, but that was the essence of the statement.
Am I supposed to believe when you say "I love you?" when your actions clearly state something totally opposite? I expected with the very long conversation we had sometime ago, you would understand when I am being selfless! You would understand the fact, that I care so much, that I'd prefer your health over spending actual time with you. I hope you'd understand me enough to know, that I need you to be hopelessly happy and it affects me, when you are affected. Do you not know how happy it makes me to talk to you? But then again, what is the point of telling you this?!
Today, my error was, I thought of your health and you thought I was brushing you off. My friend, you can not see the external tears, but my heart is overwhelmed with bloody tear drops. These tear drops have burned within me because each acidic drop feels like a two sided dagger rushing through my veins.
Do not think that my external tears has more meaning, than my internal ones. I wish my salty tears would fall from my eyes and roll down my cheeks! I'd feel better. But since the pain comes from deep within, I have no choice but to tear up from within myself! Your words swiftly lash from your mouth and stab at my heart! You want to see the damage you've caused? Look inside me, do not wait for the tears.
Because inside, you will see a chopped up, bloody mess! The heart- my heart, is to the point of non-existence! So one day, I will become more than sad, my tear drops will end and I will become an unemotional, empty shell! Wait for it.... One last stab and I will be done away with....
Ah well, have a wonderful day! Adios! Adeus! Arriverderci! Sayonara! Au revoir! Ja ne! Addii! Bis Dann!! Hejda! Shalom!!
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