What is the word that describes an incident that has gone far beyond memory? Forgotten? No. Further than forgotten. In the past few days, I was able to patch up the pieces of my broken heart with band aids and bandages. You may have considered it, a state of false consciousness, but I was happy. (Sort of)
Throughout this week, my happiness, was to a point, genuine. Then, you asked me to forget a simple thing and I was hurt. I was hurt because to you, it was a simple request but to me, you had further diminished the meaning of our memory.
I chose to disentangle my heart with yours, no matter how agonising and no matter how many scars were visible. I take your words as you fling them, I take your attitude as you asphyxiate me with it! But now, you have the audacity to ask me to forget? When memory is all I have? You want me to forget, passed forgotten!!!! If I close my eyes and ask that one thing never exist then another will vanish until finally, no memory is left.
You asked me to forget so i responded, "Sure, why not forget it all!" and you dare get hurt because of my tone?? If you want me to forget one, why not forget all?? Why not forget the goodmorning kisses?? The sexy talk over the phone? why not forget it all?
But of course I can not. Not a small aspect of memory can be forgotten. Please do not ask me to forget, even passed the point of forgotten. My heart is slowly patching up - the bandages keep the pieces together. But i need the memories, ALL of them! So that I do not forget that inspite of everything, I am still me!
Ah well, have a marvelous evening! Buenas noches! Gute nacht! Bon soir!
3 comments:
I think what you're saying is true. No matter what happened, you are still you and have every right to keep all your memories. Hope those memories grow you.
Soyun.
I understand what your saying in your blog, You've got to look after your heart!
Wow! You are a writer. I would read everything you put your writing utensil to. It's a shame for the individual that you are writing about. Love is a gift given or received. Helium ( http://www.helium.com) need individuals such as yourself. Again I say, Wow!
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