Severed Heart

Since our redefinition of friendship (which was actually three weeks ago), my friend informed me that I was loved differently. Apparently since the relationship was redefined, so was the love! This is how it goes, “Before, I had Eros love for you which meant that it was my desire to bed you, but since the change, you are like my sister, so I now have Phillia love for you” and it continued, “Yes Malica, there are different stages of love and I could not be just your friend, if I did not change the way I loved you!” And there is still more “Malica, we can not keep up the same attitudes and behaviours we had in the previous relationship especially since this one is different!”

Now you may not be stunned but I was! In three weeks, love can change so much so that it becomes the brotherly/sisterly kind! I need that kind of power because there is one specific person, I wish I could switch from Phillia to Eros! But how do I do it?? Perhaps it is because I am not as robotic in thinking and feeling as my friend is! In the same breath, the friend continued “I can switch people off, erase them even, but with you, it hurts when I even try!” I am just making a note here dear, but if it were easy enough for you to erase Eros and then replace it with Phillia, why can’t you just erase Phillia as you erased Eros?? :-)

Never is ANYTHING too difficult for you!! You can do it all!! I wish I were so able to erase people! I would erase the many people who consistently hurt me! I would erase my life as it is now!! I would erase certain things in the past that i’d like to forget!

The thing about you is this, that you never really had A relationship if you had two and it was easy to throw away the one that came in second because the first mattered more. But though the first mattered more, you needed the second to keep you sane in brother/sisterly love!

What other choice is there?? I will be your sister and your greatest friend and when I am hungry enough, I will find someone who would not mind me being their “only!”

All rightie then, I must bid you good night! Bonsoir! Buenas Noches! Gute Nacht! J